The Current Story of My Life

First Full Week

Last week, I went through my first full week of work, and the only word I can think of is: it sucked. Leaving the house in the morning only in time to see the baby for two minutes and then coming home to basically watch the baby go back to sleep was pretty dreadful. I got to play with him at most for two hours or possibly even less because I had to eat dinner and I eat slow. Not only that, I felt so exhausted. I also had so much planning to do for the summer youth group retreat that was coming up in a little over a week and I felt so stressed out because I had absolutely no time in between to plan. At work, I had so much work to catch up with. And at home, I wanted to spend every waking moment with baby since I wasn't with him all day. I felt so mentally drained and exhausted. At the end of the week, the other was talking to me about something to try to encourage me regarding ministry related stuff and how to grow it but I ended up breaking down and crying because I was just so tired and couldn't imagine adding more things onto my already busy schedule.

Towards the end of last week, my thoughts kept leaning towards being a stay at home mom and not working because working was taking up all of my time. When I speak to some people, they say to drop ministry, but I actually don't mind continuing ministry and would much rather prefer that. The benefits of working here right now though is that I do have medical insurance and the income we get still is helpful towards our expenses. I still do love where I am at in terms of having a great boss and such but if I were to even entertain the idea of working part time, that would be no use because I would not be receiving benefits here and then might as well find a closer place to work from home.

Right now is my second week and I feel a little bit better and sucking it up, not feeling as down as last week. I guess it's an adjustment but I'm not super human and can't adjust to doing all of this.