The Big Event

So, yes of course, Big Event was amazing, as always. There's never a time where I can say it sucked, or it was just alright. God is simply always working in so many people's lives there's no denying of what he's doing at the big event, or as a matter of fact, in any other place, people, or time.

What I got out of Big Event were two major points. As I was leading a small group in the "Living for Jesus" track, I was leading others into living for Jesus as well as learning more about myself and how I can live more for Jesus. Here's some of my reflections:

    * Community: Many people have different communities in their lives. For me, I have a church community, college circle, my 8 girls, the SIC, etc etc. During these get-together's with my different circle of friends, there's a lot of hanging out, chilling, thinking about where to go and what to do, laughing, sitting around, and being in each other presence. Don't get me wrong, it's great and all, but sometimes, we wonder if there's more to that in this life. And that's what stuck out to me a lot in the community talk they gave at the retreat. For many of us, our communities are pretty superficial, we can hang out twenty-four hours a day with a group of friends but at the end of the day, we leave with just a few laughters, but not something really deep and meaningful that would edify us in our lives. And we get so used to it so much that we think that's all there is to life: meeting people and just enjoying each others presence. But what would it look like if  the communities we were in were driven by purpose, value, and something that's focused on (not just something godly or holy), but on trying to encourage each other to live our lives to the fullest instead of being content with where we are in our lives. Because obviously, we all know we can do so much more fulfilling lives, but we don't and we just get used to (That's just a thought). I asked someone a while back, "Who do they know that's ambitious and motivated?" and unfortunately, she said "no one". Are we going to be satisfied with that? It's fine if some do, but I'm not.
    * Important things: When we like something, we'll talk about it right? For you, it might be bubble tea, your blackberry, and the kids you teach. For me, it's sushi, bubble tea, avocados, and texting. We talk about it all the time that we already know what we like and in some way, shape, or form, they are pretty important to us, that's why we talk about it all the time. Now let's talk about the things you love; you love your boyfriend, God, your friends, family, and playing monopoly deal (lol). For me, it's God, InterVarsity, church stuff, family, Ambit Energy, etc. But it's funny because we pick and choose what we want to talk to with different groups of people. I always talk about the things I love and the things I like with my church friends because I figure they'll understand me just a little more. But even for some Christians, I don't talk about all the things I love because I feel that they don't care. But for some reason, I never talk to my non-Christian friends about the things I love, but they know what I like, or I hope they do. And the question that sticks out: If it's so important to me, why don't I ever mention it?
            That's what happened to one of the guys who was leading the track and giving a message about it. He said, a couple of years back, when he became a Christian, he still hid the fact that he was a Christian to all his non believer friends, but one day, it came out, and they found out he was a Christian. So his friend was like, "If this God this is so important to you, why didn't you ever mention it?" Because this guy didn't set the example for his friends, this guy till this day never became a believer because he had the thought that Christians can't even live up to who they are. Now, that's pretty upsetting right?
             So it made me reflect on my life and why I don't talk about the important things in my life to some of my different circle of friends. I was trying to reason out; it's because they don't care for it, they don't want to hear it so I don't want to tell them what they don't want to hear, they're not mature enough, and all those other things. But then if we reverse it around, my friends talk to me about their deep concerns all the time -- whether it's about guys, boys, men (because that's 80% of the conversation), or work, or what they do when their out. And I take the time to listen to them also even though some of things they go encounter are not things that I value in. But the difference is, I still hear them out and listen to them. So, if I can listen to what it might be mundane conversation to me, why can't they listen to what I value in. I can just bring it up as casual conversation instead of making it a point to try to "convert" them.
              For example: Most of the time, if someone asks what I've been up to, I'll give them just a tid-bit... stuff like, "oh, I'm just doing church stuff, volunteering with Baruch, building my business with Ambit Energy, and spending time with family". But their response would be all the little things they do during the day. In each of the activities I mention, there is so much more involved in it that can be a blessing or encouragement to others, but why do I keep it just as that and not mention more of how God is working in each aspect of my life. Or, many times, my girlfriends talk about their boyfriends all the time, and then when it comes to me, it's always a: nope, I don't have one yet. So what? that's not the important aspect of my life, I can talk about other things also.
            So my conclusion is: If it's so important to me, then I shall mention it. Why hesitate? After all, it might be a blessing to others. What's the point of just keeping it to myself, that's what I have a mouth for and that's what I live for. And, if I'm so unsatisfied with the community that I live, why don't I do something about it? If no body does it, somebody's bound to, and I see the need, I need's God's strength to help me fill the need.

Obedience

1 Timothy 2:1-7

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men—the testimony given in its proper time. And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle—I am telling the truth, I am not lying—and a teacher of the true faith to the Gentiles.

Leadership is pretty tough, especially being a spiritual leader. It's a matter of being "called" because it demands a load of obedience even when times get lonely. It's not easy because there are always people eye-ing you from all angles but there's no turning back, nope there isn't. Because once we know the Lord and Savior we are serving, there's no way of denying Him unless we're ignorant.

When evaluating my own leadership; many times I'm not living a peaceful and quiet life in godliness and holiness. Many times I'm not living an exemplary life for others in Christ, but because I know that God has called me to impact others in his truth, there's no turning back, I just got to keep going even in the midst of struggles and pitfalls I got myself into. It wouldn't even make sense for me to pause the work God is doing in others lives through me and be selfish to stop until I get my life all settled and under control. It's obedience I need to strive for, not just in my leadership, but all aspects of my life.

I love my family :)

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Listen, my son to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck." - Proverbs 1:7-9

Observation: To have knowledge, we must first have reverence for the Lord. Stupid people have no respect for wisdom and they simply refuse to learn. The verses tell us to pay attention to what our parents tell us and if we listen to them, it would improve our character as a "handsome turban or a necklace improving our appearance."

Meditation/Interpretation: Proverbs was a book written by King Solomon, it's a collection of wise sayings that were used in ancient Israel to teach God's people how to live right. One of the main teachings of Proverbs is that all wisdom is a gift from God and this wisdom supplies practical advice for everyday living. This scripture is to make inexperienced people clever and teach young people how to be resourceful. The first chapter of the book starts with advice to the young.

As Solomon talks about the young, he says that fools are people who do not have true wisdom and who follow their own ways just because they want to. When parents talk to us, they must not only tell us what to do but tell us why we must do it and because of this, we must value them and honor them.

Reflection: Ever since summer started, especially because I just graduated from college, I've been having more free time because I have no need to study and take finals. Because of this, I've decided to move back home to Long Island to be more available for my parents and spend more time with them to honor them because over the past couple of years, I haven't given them any time. I've seen how hard they have been working and I also see how they try really hard not to burden me because I was studying and I was in school. Now that I have graduated, I have more time to give back to them which I have been doing. This week, I've spent a lot of time doing little chores for them such as making phone calls for them because their English is not so good as well as mowing the lawn, cleaning up here and there around the house and etc. On top of that, I really learn to appreciate and love my parents so much more because I'm spending so much more time with them. Just today as we were eating lunch, we were having so much fun laughing and just enjoying each others company. It made my parents so happy my dad even got up and started playing the piano and then my mom played after him. They were just really happy and I wish to see that all the time. I believe that this really is a time where God is calling me to honor them and be available for them while I can. And even so, my parents are still honoring me and my siblings by giving us the freedom to do some of the things we want also.

Application: As an application, I'm going to continue to make an effort to spend more time at home. Truthfully, for those who have been calling out, I've been choosing not to come out because I really want to spend this time to honor my family and help them with their needs instead of always caring about my own needs.

Truth & Love

"How happy I was to find that some of your children live in the truth, just as the Father commanded us." -- 2 John 1:4

"Nothing makes me happier than to hear my children live in the truth." -- 3 John 1:4

 "We Christians, then, must help these people, so that we may share in their work for the truth."
 -- 3 John 1:8

 "My dear friend, do not imitate what is bad, but imitate what is good. Whoever does good belongs to God; whoever does what is bad has not seen God." -- 3 John 1:11

As I've been spending a little more time with my parents lately, I've been hearing what they really get encouraged by. My parents really become joyful when they find their children living in truth. An example is my brother. For some reason, he's just simply disciplined, obedient, and shares truth and love to every single person he knows. It's so inspiring to see as an older sister and it's also pleasing in my parents eyes. Thank God for blessing Johnson to imitate the good characteristics from my parents and not the bad.

Over the past week -- I've seen my brother...

• Do something as little as filling up the gas tank for my parents without wanting acknowledgement.
• Sleep at the prayer center without a shower place to be efficient in his daily duties
• Carry books around with him all the time as he is always studious and wanting to learn more
• Strive to make his summer productive and useful so that he can find what he truly likes to do as a profession during his college career
• Begin a small bible study group with the college kids in his church to start a college ministry
• Etc etc etc etc.

Now for me, how have I been striving to live in truth and help people in their work for truth?

GKYM2009/New Years/End of 2009

Lessons learned from GKYM.

-Don't lose hope and always commit to God "again and again and again and again".
-When you set a goal, don't stop, keep doing it, God will work something through it.

GKYM was a Korean event, but above were the two things that stuck out to me.




It's been a month into new years and things are going to be a little different this year.
For the past couple of years, I've been putting a lot of expectations upon myself which at the end just discourage me even more. Normally, I have a certain motto that guides me throughout the year but this year, I didn't bother. I felt the need to do things a little differently, get away from the traditional Joan thing and just do what needs to be done to live a life pleasing to God and to really restore my worship. It's challenging, it's hard, but it's a lifestyle that not only brings joy to my own life, but may potentially impact those around me. 2009 was a pretty tough year, and that's not something that normally comes out of my mouth being the "happy go lucky Joan" people used to call me. It's been quite a roller coaster but I believe God has a reason for all of this. I'm sort of nervous and excited for this year, graduation, moving on into the "real" world, and just see what awaits for me in the coming months. But most of all, I just want to fall in love with God over and over and over again and not let Him go. I'm so tired of this world, I'm tired of people, I'm tired of a lot of things, but I pray for help. Again, my continuous prayer will be "God I need you, I don't know what to do".




End of 2009 was nice. I did a lot of not thinking and relaxing, watched a whole bunch of movies I've never watched, and spent it with nice people. Christmas was the first time I've ever went back to my real home. It was random, but a couple of close friends and my siblings went to Glen Cove and ate at the dining table we never use. Though we just ate left overs from the night before heated by my mom, it was nice because that's something I don't normally do. I miss my family, sometimes I wish I can spend more personal times with them. It's nice.