Thanksgiving

When I am preparing for something, I have a tendency to look through google or take ideas from other people and other things and use it for myself. Then I start looking and there is SO much information out there that I don't even know where to start reading and gleaning ideas from.

Well it's another year and Thanksgiving is this week which means Thanksgiving Potluck with my youth group is at the end of this week. I find myself wanting to do the same thing again, look through different blogs, youth ministries, etc and it's SO MUCH work. It's just as much as work as me actually preparing for the specific thing itself. I also have a habit of trying to avoid speaking when necessary because I feel that I'm inadequate to do so. But as a person who oversees the yg, I have the privilege of public speaking at least twice a week, Fridays and Sundays. The privilege of speaking into the lives of many youth group members with the potential that these kids will have a deeper and more personal relationship with Christ and each other.

To be completely honest and frank, I could do so much better but I don't know how. That's where it's up to me to allow God to assist me in these areas in where I am weak and lacking, where I can allow God to take control and be the driver instead of me always trying to steal his seat. It's a battle, it's hard because I'm always trying to think of things in which I can do myself. Well, this Friday, I have another opportunity to speak, and this time it's about Thanksgiving.

-- Side note -- Even now, I just stumbled upon a post on Facebook and about stuff that interests me regarding youth ministry and now I book mark something new, once again. Never ending continuous cycle, so much information but none of them applied --

-- Another side note -- At the convention, I was really tempted to buy every single downloadable message of the entire convention for $99 so that I could get the benefit of listening to things that I missed out on. But I resisted temptation because I knew I wasn't going to get through everything anyway and I need to apply the immediate things I have learned one step at a time and that's probably going to take a year in itself.  --

So, right now, I do want to spend a lot of timing looking at other resources about what to speak about Thanksgiving and I already have but it's not helping and I'm not speaking from the heart and still running from empty. So I'm taking these next couple of minutes to blog about whatever is on my heart regarding thanksgiving and hopefully God will give me some revelation on what to speak about to my youth.

Thanksgiving. Every year, the holiday seasons is always a very busy year for the church. We're always planning for the next program, the next retreat, the next performance, the next thing to decorate, gift exchanging, meeting up with different groups for holiday festivities, eating food, there's always something going on. It's been such a ritualistic thing for me that these events have to be held for the sake of church culture that personally, I have lost the meaning and thought behind what these events really mean. I mean, I know why we celebrate it but I definitely don't appreciate it and take it to heart.

So what should be the focus of Christians on Thanksgiving aside from just getting together and eating a good meal together? This was actually a really good resource: http://www.gotquestions.org/thanksgiving-Christian.html.

-- I know what verse I'm going to share my message on... 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.--

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." Thank you God, and now.. to get started. It took 3 hours to finally get started on preparing for this Thanksgiving message... lol.

NYWC 2015 Reflection

NYWC has finally completed, it's been four long days of information overload and now it's time to go back home and apply it.

These are some things I want to begin applying right away:

• Self-care/soul care --> Relationships --> Programs. In that order. I can't blame anyone but myself for doing it backwards which means I can't blame anyone but myself for going through so much stress.
• Train volunteers
• Create a vision/mission.
  
  "Re-learn how to seek God first."

Adjustment

The past two weeks out of work have been an adjustment to say the least. I'm grateful to not have to ride the MTA and be stuck commuting all day long, but it does feel weird not doing so because I've been doing that for such a long time. It's been an adjustment because:

• I still wake up every morning looking at the time and imagine myself and what I'm doing either at work or on the train.
• Trying to balance baby, husband, my own personal life and youth ministry schedule has been difficult because the baby does take up most of our time and learning how to prioritize is still a work in progress. Soon, the other and I are working on creating something for ourselves where he has time to do his things efficiently, I have time to do mine, but we still have time for each other also. The other has been making a little more effort in spending time with me and the baby together which I appreciate. 
• Still haven't figured out how to spend quiet time with God and be still before Him. 

Some things I have done that I haven't been able to do for the longest:

• Clean my room
• Get glasses
• Get contacts
• Go on a youth leadership training conference
• Watch the baby for a whole day
• Go out with hubby and the baby together for a walk

Some things I miss:

• Having a work station (desk, computer, etc) because I don't have a place to do work at home.
• Being with a team of people and a boss who makes the day better all the time.
• Going out out for lunch, talks and walks with my best coworker friend.
• Not having to think about obtaining health insurance.

People ask what I've been doing with all my free/flexible time. I think about it and as of this moment, I still don't think that I have much free time. Yes, my schedule is a little more flexible but I still feel like I have thousands of things to do and accomplish. Having a social life still seems a little bit difficult to have but hopefully I'll be able to learn to prioritize accordingly soon so that life can be lived out in a healthy and joyful way.

NYWC 2015

After resigning from the job, I was pretty excited to have a little bit more flexibility in terms of being better equipped with serving the youth ministry. Since I dedicate such a big portion of my life serving in the ministry, it was a high stress factor for me to constantly not feel equipped nor prepared in my weekly duties. So, first thing I did was to sign up for a leadership convention that I have been so longing to go to all year long. I stumbled upon NYWC and it just happened to have the dates that landed perfectly for me and so on my own I went.

There were a couple of reasons I decided to go alone. I wanted some time away from everyone. I wanted to be equipped to better serve the youth. I was hoping I could connect with some people (but I knew it was pretty unlikely because most people from this convention is not from my area). Anyway, it's been a blessing to come by myself the past couple of days because I have been free to do things on my own time and most of it is bound by the workshops and sessions during the convention time. But I didn't have to rush anywhere, I could walk anywhere I want, I didn't have to entertain anyone it was just nice. I haven't had time to be lonely here because I leave the house so early and get back home so late that it's just for bed.

I used AirBnb for the first time by myself. I used it once in LA but didn't have the best experience but this time around it's been a pretty good experience. The place I'm at is old school yet modern. The person who was hosting ended up not being home for the weekend so I have the whole place to myself (although I did wish I had more chances to talk to her, she seemed really awesome to talk to). I got to hear her story about her life and got to share mine as well. I also used Lyft to get home the past two nights. I've been walking about 3-4 miles a day, which I don't typically do on a normal day to day basis, so by the end of the night, the whole bottom half of my body is sore and I'm just tired. It's been a blessing just to use these different social media platforms to meet different people here and connect with them. It's so much fun meeting new people and it's great because the relationship ends after the business relationship is over but just getting to hear people from different walks of life in such a short period of time is fun.

At this convention, there were some things that stuck out to me:

• I was encouraged about the large population of people who stay serving in youth ministry for over 20-30 years. I don't see a lot of that in the ministries I'm part of so hearing that there are people who care about the youth generation enough was encouraging.
• There is a need for resources to equip leaders who serve the Asian American setting. I realize that we as Asian Americans don't really have our own identity and take from the different cultures, whether it be White-Americans or African Americans, but most of their practices suit their culture and sometimes don't always pertain to the Asian American culture. The issues they face are not always the issues we face.
• There are a lot of leadership networking training events for Christians in the NYC area, but primarily for college and above or young adults but not so much for youth, or at least not many that I know of. And if they are for youth, it seems to not relate to the Asian American setting.
• I'm in a lot of need of soul care. I have so a passion for serving people but because my cup is not full and not overflowing, it's been hard to serve. 
• At the end of the day, praise God that I still love God and still love kids. That might mean I'm meant for this and if it does, then I hope that God would equip me as I learn to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide me, especially in the midst of my weaknesses and insecurities.