Communication.

As I help him in the late hours of the evening all the time, I often get frustrated and very angry when what I perceive are negative comments are thrown at me though he means it for good. "You don't know how to read this?... Oh my gah, tsk tsk you really need to go learn, you should've just went to Taiwan for a year." or "Oh my gah, you really need to improve your English, read more and observe how others write it, your already 23, your not a kid anymore, you need to know stuff." or as we're looking through an informative website: "Your 23, you don't know what these means, what did they teach you in school? Oh my gah, go read and research more about it" (And that's for a million things). I sit there and help him out of love and care, and I'm sure he sits there and asks for my help so that we can build more relationship but I wish he could better communicate with me and not put me down with his tone of voice. Of course all the things are right and good and with great intentions, but I'm only one person, and I'm trying to balance his tasks and duties along with mine, and everything ends up just becoming a mess and I become a mess. When I reaason with him or have had enough of him, I communicate with a very negative tone and then he goes, "If you're like this in the future, no one will want to hire you, and you will fight a lot in your future relationships." What? I only give this bad response after sitting with him for eight hours and being unintentionally put down. I try so hard to look at his positive sides, but it really gets to me at the end of the day and my self esteem just getes shot down lower.

A couple of weeks ago, Pastor observed this about his children. When the mother rebukes the children, the children will take it in, forget about it later, and love the mom like normal in a couple of hours. When the father rebukes the children, the hold the feeling in and all of a sudden their feeling of self-worth decreases. It seems as if fathers words always lay heavier on a child. Pastor put it into great words, that's the exact feeling I feel. I give respect to him, with all the wisdom, knowledge, love he tries to give, the good intentions behind his talks, but when it comes to a talk from him, I feel more self-worth decreasing.

I wish humans knew how to better communicate with each other. If we both worded things better, none of this would have to happen. I don't blame him, it's who he is and he's trying to be a good father, habits are hard to break, but it just hurts and bothers me a lot. God, help me to try to continue to take the good, and look past the negatives.

Right Footed Chick!

There's this lady, and she's born without arms, her name is Jessica Cox. http://www.rightfooted.com/

I received a chain letter from my dad with a whole inspirational powerpoint about her.

She is the first woman without arms to earn an unrestricted pilot’s license. She has earned two Black Belts in Taekwondo. She is the first documented person without arms to scuba dive and like Bethany Hamilton, she would not let missing arms keep her from surfing. Currently, Jessica is an international motivational speaker, who has travelled as far as the Philippines, to help audiences overcome their greatest adversities.

I think the pictures above explains it all.

The question is: What is preventing us from reaching for the stars?

I miss her.

Johnson sent me this picture to update me on things they were doing in Asia. One of the pictures he sent me was this one. Everytime I look at my grandma, it really melts my heart. Aside from the fact that she never smiles in pictures, she really left a lasting impact in my life. Those 3 weeks with her last year will never leave me. It was only the first time meeting her ever in my life, but everytime I think about her, I miss her to the point that it makes me tear/cry. I've never missed somebody so much in my life and for this long. There is just something about my grandma that I love so much. God willing, after the missions to the Philippines next year, I'll be able to go visit Taiwan once again and see her. I wish we could see her more often... I miss you grandma.... :(. God, I pray that you would keep her safe, healthy, and that you would bless her with joy and peace in her life always.

Challenge 2011

Being part of the Challenge Band was great. We've been playing for the past couple of years and it seems as if every years seems to be improving. The only downside about it was the physical drain. By the end of the retreat, I had no more energy and needed some major rest.

Tom Richter gave some great messages  throughout the conference. He definitely knows how to communicate and break the Bible down in a very easy to understand manner.

Here are some of the things he spoke about:

• The Greatest Commandment
• Matthew 13:44 -- Parable of the Hidden Treasure
  "God is not taking something FROM you, he's getting something TO you."
  "Girls always like to find a bargain, God is not one."
  Story of the pearl necklace... if it means so much to you...Tiffany necklace.
• Romans 3:10 -- "There is no one righteous, no not one."
  If you worship worthless things, you become worthless.
  Righteousness = Perfection
• The Corinthian Grid -- What does the Bible say about...?
  Things are bad, Christ is hope.
  
  1. I Corinthians 8:9-13; Mark 9:42
  Principle: Do not cause others to stumble.
  Application: Does this cause others to stumble?
  
  2. I Corinthians 6:12a, 10:23-24; Galatians 6:8
  Principle: Do things that will profit my relationship with Christ
  Application: Does this profit my relationship with Christ?
  
  3. I Corinthians 6:12
  Principle: Do not allow yourself to be mastered by anything except Christ.
  Application: Could this master me and get me in its control?
  OR Could I be totally content without this in my life?
  
  4. I Corinthians 9:19, 22-23a; 10:33
  Principle: Do all things for the sake of reaching others with Christ.
  Application: Does this help or hinder me reaching others with Christ?
  
  5. I Corinthians 10:31
  Principle: Do everything for the glory of God.
  Application: Does this glorify God?
  
  6. I Corinthians 6:18; Mark 9:43-47
  Principle: Do not put yourself in situations of obvious temptation.
  Application: Does this tempt me against God’s will?
• John 12:1 -- We all worship.
  "I always wanted my daughter to be a respectable Christian but not a real one."
  You already are responsible for living right, let's live smart about it.

The more I think and pray about my future, I'm so lost and stuck but at the same time, I really know what I want. That's for a whole different blog.

Christian Joke

Here’s a story my father told Jerry and I during dinner.
(He heard this story from one of the messages from NY Summer Conference)


A pastor in a congregation was telling a story to traditional Christians:

There is a church where there congregation, the elders, deacons, and even the pastor are very spiritual and charismatic. Day in and day out, they always say “Thank you Lord” and “Praise the Lord”.

There is another pastor who came to pay a visit at the other pastor’s church. He was a traditional Christian and wasn’t very supportive of the whole charismatic movement.

The spiritual pastor bought his pastor friend to an elder’s house. The spiritual pastor mentioned that the elder was very spiritual; he always thanks God and praises God. The elder mentioned that even his horses are very spiritual and they understand the terms “Thank you Lord” and “Praise the Lord.”

The pastor friend was amused and said, “Oh? How can it be that a horse is spiritual?”

So the spiritual pastor showed the pastor friend by getting on the horse. He said, “I’ll show you.” The elder said, “Pastor, if you say ‘thank you Lord’, the horse will run and when you say ‘hallelujah’ the horse will stop.”

That’s exactly what the spiritual pastor did. He said “thank you Lord” and the horse ran. “ He said “thank you Lord” and the horse ran faster. When he wanted to stop, he said “Hallelujah”. The horse was obedient and understood very well.

Now the pastor friend decided to try. He said “thank you Lord” and the horse ran. He said “thank you Lord” and the horse kept running. Now, the pastor friend saw a cliff not too far from him. He pastor friend started getting nervous and forgot what to say to make the horse stop. He said STOP a million times and the horse kept running. He hit the horse, tapped the horse, pulled the horse, but the horse kept running. He tried saying STOP in every single language he knew and the horse just wouldn’t stop. The cliff was drawing nearer and finally he thought of the word, so he said “Hallelujah!” and the horse immediately stopped at the edge of the cliff.

The pastor friend said “Whew…. Thank you God”, and the horse ran.

Get it?