Commuting

Everyday, I get more and more angry thinking about commute. It's close to 2 hours door to door for a one way trip. It's just so pathetic to be commuting four hours everyday. That means I spent ⅓ of my day sitting in a train/bus. That's more time spent on a bus then with my baby. That's more time I could be using elsewhere. It just drives me up the wall.

I don't know why I have so much allegiance to my job. I guess one reason is because I don't really like change. Another reason is because I do enjoy the environment I work in although I am not fond of the nature of my job and what I do. But I do enjoy doing my work and being given the capability of doing it in excellence. And I've only been doing this for the past three months ever since I moved in with my in laws. Prior to - the one hour fifteen minute commute was doable and I didn't get angry every day over it. 

This makes me want to quit my job so bad because I'm so tired of sitting in mass transit so many hours of my day. But then it defeats the purpose of moving into our in laws. But not really because they help so much wth with everything, literally. 

I can't seem myself doing this for much longer. I feel like it's causing a lot of unnecessary tension between me and the rest of the world because of my stress of sitting in mass transportation all day. It's taking a toll on some of my relationships because of the attitude I carry. My outlook becomes increasingly negative. But if I were to switch, I don't want just any job. I don't want to just settle for just anything. I don't care so much about the money, I just care to be fulfilling the purpose and utilizing my passions, gifts and talents in which Christ has given me. Essentially I can be doing that anywhere but I want some place where I don't treat it like a job but enjoy going to work every single day. 

I'm feeling a little desperate and just screaming inside.