Medicine

Proverbs 17:22 (NKJV)
A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.

I've read this verse so many times in my life but today one thing struck differently. As I'm studying counseling, there's always talk and debate about if medicine is good as a Christian. In this verse, a merry heart is being compared to medicine and is considered as something good. Interesting. I never thought about it that way.

Another verse: Ezekiel 47:12 (NKJV)

Family love.

The other day, my mom asked me a pretty hurtful question. She asked, "Do you ever think about the family when you're out?" Given that she doesn't follow me around every second of the day, I don't blame her for thinking that way and thinking that all I want to indulge in is fun. While I was venting because I took it personally, I think my brother was listening to me in the other room so he texted, "I love you."

I shared this with the weekly small group and they say I have such a unique relationship with family because of how close we are and our good interactions . I'm grateful for my family, more and more every day.

Selfless Parents

Only parents can do such things. The other day, my parents bought a whole bunch of sushi home for dinner. My mom was like, "Let Joan and Jerry eat more, we will eat the left overs from last night." It melted my heart because the way they say it is without any thought. That's love. I then responded to my mom, "no it's okay, you eat more because we eat sushi all the time." I thank God for amazing parents.

Dreams

There are times I have no dreams at all and other times when I have dreams all the time but can't seem to remember them. Lately I've been having dreams, though I can't remember them much, I know that they aren't the most exciting dreams, I'm not sure why.

As I was reading the word today, I stumbled upon: "As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words. - Ecclesiastes 5:3" Maybe I have many cares on my mind lately that are not clearly being sorted out and its being let loose in my dreams, lol.

Life's Not Easy

I often say, "life is hard" and it is. People go through their daily dosage of crap everyday. Everyone goes through personal issues and that's just the way life is. Some people handle it well and others have a hard time reacting appropriately. Recently, I have a lot of loved ones around me who are going through a load of crap, for lack of a better word. I thank God that they can and are able to confide in me and trust in me. I wish I could do something more but for some reason, it seems as if I'm letting them down. Handling their emotions properly is not exactly what they are doing lately. Even their response to me might hurt a little sometimes too but it's okay, they need to vent and get those emotions off their chest. At the same time, I go through crap also and I'm only one person trying to juggle everything I can. As I take new steps in these new chapters of my life, a lot of sacrifices will probably have to be made which will hurt people because of my lack of presence in their life, but at the same time, I do what I can. I'm not there to pity people, I just want to be there for them out of care but I wish they could be fair to me sometimes too. I'm human, not superhuman. I wish I knew what to do. 

Romans 8:28

"God works for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose."

Today, the Cuba team got together at the professor's house just to share, pray and mentally prepare for the trip. Everyone went around to share their life verse and this was the professors. After months and months of finally anticipating to meet this woman I considered an inspiration just from hearing stories about her, its great to be able to share life with her. Although she became blind overtime, she still trusted God and she trusted the Romans 8:28 promise. Through her disability, God gave her more opportunities and opened more doors for her to glorify him. What a testimony.

Small Group

I enjoy Tuesday small groups a lot. This small group must be the first small group I've never really talked or shared much in, in fact, I'm probably one of the people in the group that does the least talking. I learn a lot from this small group. I like that its honest. I like that people are growing and God is working. It's awesome that people can open their house to others just to share life with. It's a nice and encouraging atmosphere. I wish everyone had something like this.

Dream about Food

This morning, I woke up after my body jerked because I thought some kind of eek looking thing went down my back. I hardly have dreams often, but when I do, I always have weird ones. All I remember from this dream was that I was eating with Shirley and two other friends around a table. We were at someone's house and there were a lot of other people plopped on the couch etc. We all happened to be eating weird and exotic foods. The things that stood out to me were: cooked hamsters, jumping live baby shrimps, weird live eel looking things that stuck on a persons back. I was a bit freaked out because all my friends seem to eat these things like they were normal, but they were not, ESPECIALLY the hamsters. I could've sworn they were just playing with those hamsters before. Anyway, when I mentioned to Shirley that she had that eel thing on her back, she took it off of her and I immediately starting running away from her into another room. Later on, all these people started following me and some person was holding the eel in a bag. Because I couldn't hold the door closed any longer, the person came to me and dropped the eel right onto me and I freaked out and that's when I woke up. Weird.

I'm the type of person that says I could eat everything and anything, but now I may have to think otherwise.

Mommy Daughter Time

I love when my mom calls me over to the kitchen in the morning and asks me if I wanna learn how to cook. She's preparing me for the future. This is something I never learned when I was younger but it's never too late to start now! I also love that more recently, the whole family gets together and sits around a tiny table to eat when we have a chance to. I cherish these moments.

BUT man, the once in a lifetime I put on nail polish, I happen to be kitchen stuff, things I hardly ever do. Oh well, family time is more precious.

Anywho, happy 21st birthday Jason! It was just yesterday when he was just learning how to walk. Oh how everyone's growing up mighty fast.

It's the Little Things that Count

The other night, David and I started reading "Preparing for Marriage" by John Piper. Recently, I've been nagging him to read these things with me even though he doesn't care much for it but it means a lot to me that we are on the same page and learning together, especially in terms of marriage. Finally we had some time and read a little bit of it.

"The goal is to outdo one another in giving what the other wants. Both of you, make it your aim to satisy each other as fully as possible." (Page 32)

It makes me glad to see that David is willing to do these little things with me because to me, it's really important. Not only that, yesterday, he applied that quote above. Yesterday, David was spending his day studying and preparing for things. I, on the other hand, was at work. David took my lunch break with me and after break, I realized I forgot to do something that I've been meaning to do but keep forgetting. I begged David to do me a big favor and in the beginning he was hesitant but finally he gave in and said yes. I asked him to mail something for me at the post office to the Philippines because it was urgent. He did not know where the post office was but he went anyway. The one we googled together said it was right around the block but apparently it was a federal building. When he got in, he got everything checked before entering the building which took forever and all he wanted to do was go into the post office. By the time he got to the post office, they said that it was not a full service post office. He got pretty frustrated but he decided to walk to a different post office a couple more blocks down. It was freezing outside and I could imagine how annoyed he could've been because I was using his precious time to do this measly errand for me. Anyway, by the time he reached the other post office, he had to wait in line forever and basically, he had to go through hell in order to get those two books sent to the Philippines.

After work, we were walking to the car and he was sharing with me the journey he went through and both of us were laughing about how ridiculous it was. One thing that I really appreciated was that he acted out in patience and love and did not get angry at me even though I'm the one who put him through all that trouble. It just wasn't his day but he handled it and dealt with it very well. Little or big things like that warms my heart.

David does a lot of little things for me whether he knows it or not or whether I realize it or not. Those little things do make me feel loved and appreciated and that fulfills a lot of my needs. I hope in the future, we continue to go out of our way to outdo one another in giving what the other wants.

PS: Eunice sent me this link about the story of Ian and Larissa from the DesiringGod site. So heartwarming and encouraging. Love is not easy, love is a commitment and they are definitely demonstrating that daily. http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-story-of-ian-larissa

"Life is Beautiful"

David introduced me to this movie, "Life is Beautiful". The main character of the movie treated everything with humor and almost as a joke. That's how he met his wife and that's how he saved his child from understanding what was happening in the Nazi death camps, he made his child treat everything as if it were a game. He kept everything positive and humorous so that people around him wouldn't worry and so that he could live his life fully and without reservations. Wow, what an inspiring and hopeful movie. Sometimes, I think it's good to be like that, treat everything lightly, then we wouldn't be so stressed out in life.

Dependence

During small group the other night, somebody said something that was so true.

"We all hate depending on people but its the best feeling in the world to have people to depend on."

Just Make Right Choices

Over the past year, I’ve come to learn to face the consequences of sin.

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Isaiah 30:21 says, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying “this is the way, walk in it.” Everyone has a conscience and for more times than less, we are conscious of the good and bad decisions. In the past, I knew I would have to face some of the consequences of some of the stupid mistakes or actions that I consciously made, but I never knew to what extent. Mistakes and harmful actions don’t only hurt me but hurts everyone around me, and vice versa. Just like Luke 8:17 says, “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.”

I’m learning my lesson and it’s not a good feeling. The process to get to the end result could’ve been smooth sailing; but instead, I chose to go through the harder route that causes more struggle and pain. Now for the future, hopefully I’ve learned my lesson to do things the right way. In all things, though, God is still gracious.

Treasure Little Moments

Whenever I spend time athome, I always treasure every moment I have with them because it’s not oftenthat the whole family gets together and just spends time with each other. Overthe holiday season, we have been spending so much more time together and I’mglad that all of us are making an effort to bless each other with our presence.It makes me happy that we are being intentional about building a relationshipwith each other and it’s better to start now than later.

I was really blessed yesterday by my dad. He’s such an awesome person. Aftercelebrating so many birthdays, I seem to have lost sight of the true meaning ofbirthdays and just celebrating it as a passing event. Yesterday, we celebratedJerry’s birthday with a traditional surprise, a cake, sang happy birthday,loved ones around, caked the birthday boy, decorated the room, wore silly hatsetc. We invited our parents to join so my dad was watching the whole thing.After we finished and cut up the cake, my dad said, “This is how the Americansociety celebrates birthdays?” in a joking but serious way. He used a Chineseword, which I was not very familiar with, but it was something like:superficial or trivial. As we were just enjoying time together and foolingaround, he kept bouncing the balloon ball Susie bought. While holding onto thecake, he was bouncing the ball, standing there and spaced out, all at the sametime. We were all laughing at him because he looked so cute. After the laughterdied down and we went to clean ourselves up, he pulled me to the side and goes,“Joan, what’s a word that starts with ‘RE’ that stands for continuously doingsomething wrong over and over again. I shrugged at him and said, ‘I don’t know….RI-diculous?” I couldn’t think of any word but didn’t know what his intentionwas for asking me so I didn’t think as hard. He said, “Okay, ‘Ridiculous works”.

 We went back to Jerry’s room andhe sat down and started to speak so we all naturally just circled around him,seemed like he was going to preach a sermon, which he did. This whole time,while we thought he was spaced out, he was really preparing something to say tothe whole family, he was planning a sermon. He started off by saying if we arecelebrating someone’s birthday, we have to at least say something meaningfulabout the birthday boy and have planned something out in that way. (All ofthis, he did in a very well-mannered and nice way, I have so much to learn frommy dad!)
So he began.
             “J stands for Joy to Jesus.
             E stands for Excellence for Everything
             R stands for Repent for Ridiculous ß (There, I realized what he was using this wordfor!)

             R stands for Revival for Renewal

             Y stands for Yes to Yahweh.”

He went around and made everyone speak a little about each topic. He askedeveryone to give examples of how we can apply each topic and he shared a littleabout his own personal story, though my mom was not absolutely comfortablebecause it involved her. It seemed like not everyone was ecstatic about thethings he was sharing because they were so focused on Jerry’s lottery ticketand it being about Jerry’s birthday. I, on the other hand, was so focused onwhat my father had to share. He was trying to make Jerry’s birthday ameaningful one instead of celebrating it in such a superficial manner. I feltso grateful to have a dad like him. After he came back from Taiwan, I see howmuch he’s changed and he seemed to have done a lot of self-reflection. Hesmiles a lot more now and it seems like he wants to make the most out of everyopportunity and to cherish every moment. He’s so much more intentional aboutdeveloping relationships now, especially with the family. I always saw that hehad it in him but he just had a hard time expressing it. He’s expressinghimself so much more and it warms my heart.         
  
From just today, I saw that my dad is a great small group leader. He usesexamples that are easy to remember and applicable to our lives. He knows how toengage with people. He knows when to be serious and he knows how to jokearound. He always speaks well of other people and looks at the positive insteadof the negative. He’s a great host. He’s very creative. My dad is definitely pastormaterial.

After the “sermon”, David and Johnson prayed sincere and honest prayers forJerry as well as for trusting in Christ. Then, we went on and dad suggestedsome games that we could play. We played popping the balloon with our body, weplayed the “guess who’s gesturing” game. We laughed so hard we almost cried. Mymom and dad then sang a duet in Chinese for us while holding hands; it was socute. And then they asked us kids to sing a song. After hesitating, we decidedto sing  “Amazing Love” together.They are not shy and they are always prepared to present no matter whatoccasion. I have so much to learn from them.

I learned something about special occasions last night that I hope to apply,especially for my parents’ birthday. For my dad, I hope to give him a nicemeaningful surprise when his birthday comes around. Here are some thoughts:have my brothers and I present a couple of songs that are well thought out andpracticed and have all the siblings write a long speech for my dad to love on andappreciate him (like what we did for Tito Virgil’s appreciation day). Theyalways want us to do that during holidays and special events in front of themand we never do because of our laziness. My parents do so much to support usand make us happy, this is the least of what we can do for them, they don’t askfor much.

If I could, I would record the whole entire night and play it over and overagain. I love my family.

Never Sell Relationships Short

A hurry-up lifestyle results in a throwaway culture. Things that should be lasting and meaningful are sacrificed on the altar of the temporary and superficial.

The major fallout in such a setting is the habit of viewing relationships casually. This cavalier attitude cripples society in various ways:

Friends walk away instead of work through.
Partnerships dissolve rather than solve.
Neighbors no longer visit and relax together.
The aged are resented, not honored.
Husbands and wives divorce rather than persevere.
Children are brushed aside rather than nourished.

Relationships! Never sell them short.

If we'll slow down the hurry-up lifestyle for a moment and pause to catch our breath, we'll realize the need to call a halt to our throwaway culture.

Taken from Insight for Living.

Blessed

I have a lot to be grateful about this year, it seems that God is always working in different ways every year.

What God has most blessed me with year after year is great friends and family to spend with. I often post pictures of group gatherings and spending time with people because every moment I have with people is a time to be cherished. I appreciate every moment I have with friends, family and loved ones. Over the holiday season, I was overwhelmed with all the group gatherings but at the same time I'm so blessed because I'm surrounded by so many awesome people. I couldn't ask for anything else. No material item could ever replace friendship and relationships.

Emotions

A long time friend recently said:

Friend: Hey Joan, you know what I've noticed?
Me: What?
Friend: You've been more opened with your emotions this year.

I realized the same thing. I attribute it to the counseling program and my realization of the importance of not neglecting my emotions. I also attribute it to being in a relationship. I was never like this when I was with friends, but now I'm so sensitive recently. I realize that I'm not a man but I'm actually a girl. Lol. I'm not sure if I like it too much but I'll have to deal.

Understanding Grace

The late pastor and Bible scholar Donald Barnhouse perhaps said it best: "Love that goes upward is worship; love that goes outward is affection; love that stoops is grace."

To show grace is to extend favor or kindness to one who doesn't deserve it and can never earn it. Receiving God's acceptance by grace always stands in sharp contrast to earning it on the basis of works. Every time the thought of grace appears, there is the idea of its being undeserved. In no way is the recipient getting what he or she deserves. Favor is being extended simply out of the goodness of the heart of the giver.