Prayer

J. Hudson Taylor, great missionary to China, said "It is possible to work without praying. It is a bad plan, but it can be done. But you cannot pray without working."

Every week, I've been giving a message to the youth, and for me, it doesn't come natural and just preparing and coming up with a message with my limited mindset is pretty difficult. I was always a small group type of person and not so much of a person who speaks in front of an audience/congregation. Because of my overwhelming schedule and just coming home to mental exhaustion every end of the day, it's been very hard for me to pray. I want to pray everyday, I want to read the Word, but it's been harder and harder because of just the overwhelming feeling. In the season, I know that it's even more important to pray and everyday it's just a battle.

I normally go to church every Saturdays to prepare. Last week, I decided instead of just sitting in the office all day and thinking of how to prepare (because it always takes a whole day), I decided to walk around the park, put on my earphones and spend some time with God in prayer. At this point, I felt so desperate because I'm running on empty and it's not fair for the kids just to get the left overs of me and not the Spirit-filled me. I spent an hour just walking around in solitude and just talking to God.

After that conversation with God, it's interesting what happened during the week. All of a sudden some more honest conversations came out of some discussions that happened throughout the week. It seems that there are things that have to be dealt with but God is just continuously reminding me to go to him and seek for guidance and advice because I know that on my own strength, I will mess things up real quick. I've been working without praying for a while, but I need to do both, urgent.

Surprise.

I wanted to take the youth out to apple picking or something on Columbus Day. Initially, I thought I had the day off, but being that I work in a private institution, I had work. So I asked the teachers if they could bring the kids out individually and the day before, I would plan a bowling event for them, which was a fun outing overall.

So on Columbus Day, I was at work and in the morning time I was at internship. The other was texting me and told me he would bring food for me which was not a shock because he does that every so often when he comes to the city. He said he was going to study so I said okay. Around 1PM, I was going to have supervision and while I was seeing a client, the other texted me and told me to go up and pick up the food like I always do at the side door. This time, I couldn't because I was in the middle of seeing a client but he was rushing me and saying that he doesn't want to pay for the meter, etc, which he always says too. Once we finished, I ran upstairs and opened the side door and standing there was the entire youth group that came out to surprise me. They were all standing in a straight line with papers that read: "Joan, We Appreciate You!"

It definitely caught me off guard and it was such a friendly gesture that was put together by the teachers. That gesture made my day. It's been about three months since I've been serving in this church and every week I feel guilty for not giving them enough of my time and energy. I am only able to be there for them on weekends because that's all the time I have. Unlike previous ministries, I used to be texting people left and right and checking in on people, but during this season of my life, I just haven't been able to spread myself in that capacity.

When I think about the current church I'm at, I just can't help but to be grateful. God blessed me with a good group of kids to work with during this season of my life. It's not a humungous group but it's definitely a group of a set of kids absolutely different from what I'm used to, but I look forward to working with them and seeing them.

How to Serve One Another

O Lord! Help me to be …
Firm but not harsh;
Realistic but not skeptical;
Scheduled but not rigid;
Pure but not proud;
Close-mouthed but not unfriendly;
Appropriate but not stiff;
Funny but not frivolous;
Teachable but not gullible;
Flexible but not scatterbrained;
Humble but not pious;
Kind but not compromising;
Dependable but not dull;
Decisive but not stubborn;
Persistent but not needling;
Precise but not picky;
Simple but not foolish;
Demanding but not intolerant;
Thorough but not unkind;
Human but not worldly;
Spiritual but not impractical;
Generous but not irresponsible;
Enthusiastic but not “hyper;”
Honest but not brutal;
Fair but not unloving;
Proper but not unreal;
Confident but not snobbish;
Bold but not brazen;
Busy but not harried;
Active but not shallow;
Deep but not dry;
Wise but not intimidating;
Intense but not forbidding;
Empathetic but not uncontrolled;
Forgiving but not naive;
Sympathetic but not pitying;
Helpful but not condescending;
Penitent but not paralyzed;
Organized but not bossy;
Spontaneous but not inconsistent.
Lord, I guess I’m asking to grow in favor with God and man.
I am asking you to help me become a balanced person. Amen.
by Marlene Evans

Internship

When I think about internship, I get a little GAH about it. I don't know the word that I was to use, but at this point, I'm just so tired of extending and dragging on my academic career and just want it to end. Either senioritis has kicked in a while ago, or I'm just growing impatient at the 700 hours of internship that seems impossible to obtain. I'm just about halfway in my hours now. This counseling degree has definitely taken longer than I have expected, of course, due to all different great life transitions and circumstances, but I really don't want it to last another year. My goal was to graduate by May 2015 by doing a two year decelerated track. I'm on my second year right now and just by looking at the amount of hours I have and how many more I need, it just seems impossible unless I increase my hours or find a different internship site that would give me more face time hours. This site just has too many no-shows and cancels and inconsistencies and it's taking a toll on me moving forward. I really feel like at this point, I do not have the option of looking for an additional internship site because what I already have on my plate is already overwhelming as it is, but I don't know if I have a choice. My other option is taking another graduate and I'm so upset that I have to even consider that option, but that's probably something I may have to consider.

Parents

I've only been in this church for two months and in these two months alone, a handful of birthday celebrations have taken place. All or many of which were planned not just by the close friends or leaders of the church, but the parents of the church. The parents typically contribute by opening up their home for a large group and preparing a dinner feast for all. This past weekend, I went to another birthday celebration, and just seeing how close these parents are to these youth group kids are such a blessing. When I look back, I grew up in an environment where our parents were not the most active in our personal lives, especially in the church environment, even more rare. It encourages me and makes me happy to see that many of these youth group members have parents who truly take the time out of their lives to be active and present in their young lives.

"I'm Grateful"

There's always a student that stops by every department and just drops by to say "hi, how are you doing?"

When people ask me that question, I often say: "I'm surviving" or "I'm okay". Those are my two go-to statements.

Every time someone asks this person how he's doing, he responds: "I'm grateful."

Hearing a comment like that makes me smile. This reminds me that my perspective needs to change.