Future

Yesterday, as my friend mentioned her 5 year goal, I decided to set myself a 10 year goal as I am so big on goal setting as well. My 10 year goal is to own my own counseling practice or start one with some people I have connected with in the counseling field. I don't know how it's going to look like but there's no harm to set that goal.

The other often mentions to me that he sees me being a professor. He says I critique professors and size them up in the first class session and not many people do that. After starting my masters degree, I felt like pursuing a PhD wouldn't be so bad because I love learning and it wouldn't hurt to eventually get a title behind my name. He feels like I would be good at teaching. As I'm reflecting... I do realize that I always collect everything I learn in hopes to eventually organize it one day and be able to spit it out the same way my professors had. From speakers, I'm always trying to learn their presenting and communications style and ponder on how I would go about it if I was in their shoes. Who knows, I have no clue how the future will look like a couple of years from now but I'll have to continue to trust in God. Currently, I'm overwhelmed with what I'm learning and it's just information overload, but since I'm a student, it's normal that I feel this way.

Yesterday I went to Covenant House, an organization that helps homeless teens get back on their feet. We had a tour and were given a briefing about the organization. I was trying to imagine if I would fit in an organization like that because from reading about them on their website, I got so excited and would love to work at a place like that. I definitely do imagine myself working there, it's a little hard to imagine myself working in a rich corporate setting because that's not where my heart is. But at the same time, I still feel like I can do so much more with my passions. I want to do so much more.

I want to do big things in the future and definitely don't want to settle for less because I felt like God is calling me for more. I know that what I'm doing currently... God has place me here for a while to learn and experience certain things before I move onto a different chapter in life.

As I think about my future, I'm battled because I trust God but I also have anxiety over how my future is going to look like because I don't know what it's going to look like. I trust that he works for our good for as long as we seek to glorify him, but just the process is scary!

We Don't Meet People By Accident

I reflect on this a lot, there is a reason for why we meet whoever we meet on any given day and any given time. As I was reflecting with a friend tonight, as I always do with her, because I'm just SO grateful for this stage in my life, none of this would have happened if I didn't meet these people. And if these things had not happen, it's so hard to imagine my life without these awesome people.

I have a current friend whom I met from Ambit from a sixth degree of separation kind of thing. If it wasn't for Ambit and our "business" backgrounds we would've had never met. But since we did, she connected me with the person I needed to to get into the program I am in now. If it wasn't for her, I would've never took a second look at this program because I was so turned off the first time I inquired about it.

I have another friend I met in college at an IVCF retreat, we were in the same prayer group in the prayer track during my sophomore or junior year of college. She was a little older than me and we haven't talked since then. My brother had worked under her leadership in EMS in City College. We crossed paths again when when I inquired about this program for the second time and it was her first week working there as an assistant. It just happened to be perfect timing because she was standing right in front of me during my interview. If my Ambit friend contacted me any earlier or any later, who knows, I probably wouldn't have cross paths with the IVCF friend. But my IVCF friend is the one who hooked me up with the part-time job I have now. Shockingly, she got promoted and now I work under her leadership as well. I love working with her and love her work ethics.

Because I got connected with this part time job, now I have a future husband to be. And if the college was just a little bit organized in the way I wanted them to, I would've never had the task to go up to classrooms to pull students out of class and happen to meet my future "the one" there. But, we only knew each other because we had some sort of prior acknowledgement of each other through the retreat we met at the year before. Our church hosts a year retreat with their denomination, if it wasn't for the small group coordinator's sister who brought her current husband who brought his cousin, I would've never met the person I am with now. Life is crazy!

Sudden Thought

Whoah, right after I got off the train after class, I had this really random thought. I can only hope this is God-given, but I just wanted to jot it down before I forget, but if this really happens in the future, praise God. Recently, a lot of the new and great friends I have been making are not really New Yorkers. Many of them are friends I would want to keep for a long time but many seem to be either international students here in NY or their "home" is not NY. While I'm grateful to have met such awesome people in my life, I'm also a little sad that they won't be in my life for long because they may soon have to go back to where they came from so to say. SO, on the car, I had a random thought that this is all happening for a reason. Perhaps, is God paving the way for me to have connections in different parts of the world in the future? Might my deepest desire and prayer be unfolding right before my eyes? If this is so, that would be amazing. But after a great conversation with a friend tonight, my only conclusion is to just give it up to God and trust God with my future because I never know how life is going to look like even a year from now. Thank God with what I have right now and I'm going to continue to trust God with the unknown areas of my life. Only He knows.

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'Cause you had a bad day.

There's those days where it's just not one of my good days.

- bad sleep because I had noises talking at me throughout the night.
- i walked outside and it was raining
- after ten feet of walking, I stepped in a big puddle of rain and my socks and shoes were soaked
- the bus took longer than usual
- I got to work twenty minutes late
- it was so cold in the office today
- my eyes were hurting staring at the screen today
- I didn't have enough time to eat lunch
- I felt tired
- there was not enough computers in the lab so I couldn't print some things I needed to
- I was late to my online class which I didn't have to be.
- by the end of the day, someone said something and it just pushed my last button and I reacted very negatively. Could've handled it better, stupid emotions.

In the midst of it all, I kept telling myself to thank God and be grateful because he is still good. Thank God for emotions. After all, I had a lot to be grateful for today as well. But it just wasn't a dandy day.

Privilege

Today we had a team meeting where we briefly went over google docs and google calendar and had a time of worship through listening to music and just resting in God. It's funny because in the beginning what was going through my head when the music started was, I have a lot of other things to do, we are at work, how training wasn't anything in depth, why are we gonna spend twenty minutes of our time listening to worship music to spend time with God at the end of our work day. Then I thought about it again and I had to redirect my thinking. I'm actually thankful that I work in an environment where God is openly talked about, I work in an environment where the team I'm apart of is faith based and has their own personal relationship with God. It's an honor to be able to spend some work time to just sit back, relax and find time in God, not a lot of Christians get the opportunity to do so. Thank you God to such a privilege.

Movies

Due to Hurricane Nemo, I have off of work and school for the next two days. I had the day set out to get a lot of work done, and though I got two assignments done, I still spent a portion of day watching movies. Today, I watched some of these are the others are some that I really recommend!

This is a movie that I wasn't a big fan of:

Personality Test

I'm a big fan of taking assessments and personality tests just to get to know myself better, for the Myers Briggs Personality Test, I'm an ESFJ. I just asked David to take it and he's an INFJ.

For our marriage, romance and love relationship test, it says we pretty compatible. That's good to know.

And then while we were reading our descriptions, there was a section where we could find out what type of personality our counterparts are, we are made for each other! :)

These personality test definitely help me to be more self aware but of course I'm not going to limit myself to these categories and are always open to change and different things.

Do the Good You Can

Matthew Henry wrote: "Wherever the Providence of God casts us, we should desire and endeavor to be useful; and, when we cannot do the good we would, we must be ready to do the good we can. And he that is faithful in a little shall be entrusted with more."

Proverbs 3:27

Free Man

"Imagine a prisoner who is suddenly surprised to find out that he has been pardoned and set free. He did nothing to accomplish this. He was not even aware that is had happened. But there he stands outside the prison walls, a free man. Now it is his responsibility to live as a free man."

Prayer

St. Augustine, the fifth century theologian, said that we should pray as though everything depended on God and work as though everything depended on us.