Love God, Love People

Jesus Christ has said, "Whoever does not want to spend life will lose it." But we are afraid to spend our life, to give it away without reserve. To spend life is to work for others, even without pay, to make a favor without expecting return. To spend life is to throw yourself ahead, even to fail, without false prudence. It is to burn your bridges for the sake of the neighbor. We are torches that have no meaning except burning out for others. - "Gastar la Vida" by Father Luis Espinal

Thanksgiving Week

What a productive week! Not in the sense of getting any substantial school work done, but this week was a blessing. So fulfilling.

Sunday - After service, we went to Far Rockaway with some hot foods to give away to those that may be in need.

Monday - Got to have a last laugh with Sarah before she left. Caught up with the soul sister, Mindy. Haven't done that in ages.

Tuesday - Met up with Cindy and had a good catch up time. Then, small group at Perry & Suminas. God is working so much in their lives and its such a blessing to witness it.

Wednesday - Spent all day making egg salad sandwiches and distributed them with New Jerusalem Church in Penn Station.

Thursday - Spent the day with David & the siblings.

Friday - Helped clean up in the GC home with siblings, David and Moustafa, whom I am so grateful for. Study buggin' hours at Panera Bread.

Saturday - Worship Team practice and dinner with the gang.

Sunday - Sunday Service & catch up with Abraham.

Now, I have to get back into the grind of getting all my work done. About two weeks left of school and not enough to finish all the work ahead.

I'm truly thankful for the opportunity and for the ability to be able to bless and help those around me and have good company to surround myself with. God is always faithful.

Interesting Conversation with God

Me: God, can I ask you a question? God: Sure. Me: Promise you won't get mad? God: I promise. Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today? God: What do you mean? Me: Well, I woke up late. God: Yes. Me: My car took forever to start. God: Okay. Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait. God: Hmmm. Me: On the way home my phone went dead just as I picked up a call. God: Okay. Me: And on top of all that, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that? God: Well, let me see. The Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that. Me: (humbled): OH... GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road. Me: (ashamed) God: The person who made your first sandwich today was sick and I didn't want you to catch what he has. I knew you couldn't afford to miss work. Me: (embarrassed): Ok... God: Your phone went dead because the person who was calling was going to give false witness about what you said during that call. I didn't even let you talk to them so that you would be covered. Me: (softly) I see, God. God: Oh, and that foot massager had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark. Me: I'm sorry God. God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me in all things, the good and the bad. Me: I will trust you. God: And don't doubt that MY plan for your day is always better than your plan. Me: I won't, God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today. God: You're welcome, child. It was just another day being your God, and I love looking after my children.

My Life Motto

"Love God. Love People."

David Foster Wallace

Stole this from David's sermon notes:

David Foster Wallace, a brilliant writer, considered to be genius, an agnostic said

“Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship -- be it JC or Allah, bet it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles -- is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.”

Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings. They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing. And the so-called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving and [unintelligible -- sounds like "displayal"]. The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met?"

It Becomes Your Destiny

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for they become destiny.

Quote

"Either you follow it or you learn it."

Heart Problem

Over the summer, Tito Virgil said something that had impacted the mission team: "There is something with your heart." When I don't check my heart enough, I realize that there really is something wrong with my heart. It causes me not to function properly, I feel so out of it, far away from everything including God. As I was just processing this stress and this hopeless feeling, I can't help but to be reminded that I can't put my hope in nothing less than Jesus Christ blood and righteousness. Now I'm back to this again. God help me to draw all my joy and strength from you. Started really reading the bible again, going to go for a 90 day challenge. Tomorrow is day 3.

I'm Tired.

There are some moments in life where I give up and say I'm tired. I'm tired of trying so hard with my own strength and then burning myself out. I'm tired of keeping up with everything. I'm just letting go and somewhere in the midst of it all, I'm trusting that God will take care of me, everything, and everyone around me. It may be discouragement, it may be stress, I might be too overwhelmed with the responsibilities I pick up for myself and end up not being productive in any of them, it may be that the people around me are making me weary. Whatever it is, I'm casting it onto Jesus, I can't do any if this myself. I can only find my joy and strength from Him alone and time and time again I keep resorting to being self sufficient. Wake up, Joan.

Little talks on the train.

The other day, David and I were taking the train back to Flushing together. There was one seat available so he let me sit while he stood. I reached out my hand, grabbed his sweater and put it on my lap so that he didn't have to hold it. The man right next to me commented, "only people in Korea do that". That comment led to hearing a big portion of his life story along with his hurts and pains that led to his children growing up to be not too good either. He now doesn't have a wife, his children don't speak to him, he was married for twelve years and he's been divorced for twelve years as well. He doesn't believe in the whole religion thing because he grew up Jewish and couldn't understand why God would allow the Holocaust to happen. David ended up telling him a little bit about how God has to be real from his testimony. Unfortunately, the guy has been through enough to not believe in anything. He was a nice guy. I wish we could've had an opportunity to plug him in to somewhere healthy. Life is hard.

Raising Kids

I wonder if there is a correct way of raising kids. As I was sitting amongst a bunch of kids in their early teens, most of them had the newest gadgets and were preoccupied playing the latest games. Among those kids was one kid doing his homework. He looked like such a diligent worker so I asked him, "hey, do you like to study?" And he goes, "no" but he wants to finish it so he doesn't have to do it at home. Everyone else was just focused on playing games.

I wonder if the reason why is because he's actually a really disciplined kid or because his father never bought him a gadget to play with which forces him to do his work.

While the other kids were talking about their newest apple products and how many they have, this studious looking kid and turns to them and says, "I don't have any 'I' products. Nobody in my family has 'I' products."

So the other kid who had an iPod Touch 2 that he no longer uses anymore says, "maybe I can give you my old iPod because i have the newest iPod." The kid turned around with a smile and said, "If you do give me, don't tell my dad because he will throw it in the garbage because he doesn't want us playing games at all, he wants us to study." So someone else goes, "then there's no point of giving it to you." And he goes, "no, I will play with it in my room at night when everyone is sleeping."

This made me think: what's better? To deprive a kid of what everyone else has or go along with what society is teaching the kids?

It's a New Day.

It's a new day. I wanna start it in a new way.

The past two weeks has been a very anxiety filled. I felt all over the place, especially with my responsibilities and being behind in many of my things already didn't help. This caused me to lose my focus on God and start relying on my own strength again. I'm not strong enough, I'm too weak. Gods mercies are new every morning, I'm thankful for that. It's a new day, starting it fresh. I can't do it alone, God help me keep you in the center.

Only God.

Psalm 127

"Unless The Lord builds the house,
The builders labor in vain.
Unless The Lord watches over the city,
The guards stand watch in vain.

In vain you rise early
And stay up late,
Toiling for food to eat -
For he grants sleep to those he loves.

Children are a heritage from The Lord,
Offspring a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in ones youth.

Blessed is the man
Whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
When they contend with their opponents in court."

I have such a bad tendency of picking up all these responsibilities and putting extra stress on myself. But whatever I'm doing, if I am building up something for myself, it's never gonna work. Everyday is a battle between the self. I feel like with all the things are happening in life, as much as I tell God I want to cling on to him, I start to resort to my own strength failing to realize only God grants anything to those he loves.

I've been feeling a load of stress lately because I have too many things on my plate once again. It's causing me to e anxious, it's hard for me to focus, and I get headaches because of it. I'm not doing any good to myself but at the same time, I ask why I even do this to myself.

God, today I trust and commit this day unto you. With all the stress and work I'm putting myself through, it's in vain if you are not the center of it all. Only you grant me peace, only you can grab Ke rest, and only I can be blessed by You. So today, would you please guide me and help me every step of the way because I cannot do this on my own.

THIS is what Nyack is about.

I've been working at Nyack College for 11 months already and this morning, the director walks into the office and calls the admissions team and registrars office in for a prayer meeting. She said she couldn't sleep last night because she was so stressed out by the pressure of the goals we have to reach. Because we are stressed are in a bad mood, we serve our students in a bad way. There are many times, I get frustrated at the work environment, especially because we are Christian but don't act like it in the workplace. I get angry at the team I am apart of because many times, it seems like our focus is lost and we are focusing on the business aspect of everything instead of investing into the future students of the school.

Times like these make it worth it for me to work here because it brought the whole team back to it's original purpose and focuses us on who the real leader of this team is, which is Christ. He's the only one that can sustain us and help us in our stressful work environment. Hearing their honest prayers really blessed me and made my day and I hope that the leaders of the office will continue this all the time. One coworker says that they used to pray at the beginning of the day all the time in the office, but we've strayed a long way from it. After the small prayer time we had, I said to myself, "Now THIS is what Nyack is about." This is what truly keeps us holy and set apart.

During small group at night, we read Psalms 3 and verse 5 stuck out to me. "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me."

God sustains us, always, even in the work place. Thank you, God.

Keep God First

In regards to ministry and doctrine scripture alone is our guideline. We go not to tradition or culture to decide how we run our churches or bible studies. As soon as we do that we start to replace the higher ways of God for human methodology. this leads us down a slippery slope towards relativism and a gospel that isn't a gospel.

Claudette

On my way to work this morning, I was on the train figuring out what songs to sing for this Sunday. I had a list of Christian songs right in front of me. Right after I put it away, the lady right next to me asked if those were Christian songs I was looking at and I said yes, I'm preparing for this Sundays worship. We had a nice little conversation regarding our work, our faith, our church. It was nice to see people randomly sparking conversation with another sister in Christ. She said she'd visit EMC sometime or the school. If every Christian just took the time to spark conversations with people and make people's day, how would life look like?

Second Semester OVER!

Second semester is over! Whoah, this semester has definitely been different from the first. The first semester was overwhelming, but this semester was even more overwhelming. The two classes that really hit me the most was my Marriage and Family Counseling course and Group Dynamics class. I've learned so much about myself in that class, did a whole bunch of self-reflection and I was just doing too much overanalyzing. I learned a lot about the patterns that went on in my family and how that had affected me from childhood until now. I learned about people.

"Hurt people hurt people" & "nobody does nothing for no reason" were some quotes that stuck out to me throughout the semester. Classes like these help me to really understand people. Most of all, I enjoyed the classes so much because the professors were professional and they loved what they taught, it was so evident through their lifestyles. These are professors I would love to continue to learn from and keep in touch with in the future. I must say, I'm really enjoying what I'm learning. God is good. And despite all the distractions that prevented me from studying in excellence this semester, God has much grace on me and blessed me with all As. I don't deserve it for sure, but God is good. I want to learn so much, I want to read so much, I want to absorb so much but I haven't even digested half the things I learned the past two semesters. I wish everyone was learning what I was learning!

ABCs of Love

"I accept you as you are."

"I believe you are valuable."

"I care when you hurt."

"I desire only what is best for you."

"I erase all offenses."


We could call that the ABCs of love. And I don't know of anybody who would turn his back on such magnetic, encouraging statements.

There is nothing shallow about authentic love. Nor is it a magic wand we whip out and wave over a problem with a whoosh, hoping all the pain will go away.

Real love has staying power. Authentic love is tough love. It refuses to look for ways to run away. It always opts for working through. It doesn't cop out because the sea gets stormy and rough. It's fibrous and resilient. . . .

While the world around us gives the opposite counsel, love stands firm.

Excerpted from Charles R. Swindoll, Wisdom for the Way (Nashville: J. Countryman, a division of Thomas Nelson, Inc., 2001). Copyright © 2001 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Thoughts about Grandma.

My mother went back to Taiwan to visit my grandmother whose been hospitalized recently. Yesterday, Johnson and I Skyped with my grandmother and mom. The moment I saw her face, I couldn't help but to break out in tears. I wish I could just go back, stay with her, give her a hug, tell her I love and appreciate so much. Just from one month of getting to know her, I fell in love with her because of selfless heart. I'm so glad to have personally met such an amazing such as her. It breaks my heart so much to see her in so much pain, it broke my heart so much to leave Taiwan knowing that I might never see her again.

Grandma never had a job before. She spent her whole life taking care of her husband and her four children. She's never left anywhere to have fun or relax, she's only left the house to take care of errands and go grocery shopping for the home. She's been to America once so that she could take care of her grandchildren for a couple of months. Her husband passed away a couple of years ago and since then, she's been pretty much by herself. Until this day, she still handwashes all her clothing, buys grocery, cooks food, washes the dishes, wipes the floor by hand, everything, everything, everything. She has four children but many of them are busy working and not spending enough time visiting her. She's so faithful, she really trusts in the Lord and when we were in Taiwan, she bent over backwards to make us happy. Gah, I miss her.

 

Johnson's praise/prayer report:
1. Good news: Grace. I've been selected as the 2011-2012 Valedictorian of the Grove School of Engineering. As Valedictorian, I will have the honor of representing my graduating class at the 2012 Grove School of Engineering Graduation Ceremony on Friday, June 1, 2012.

2. Prayer request: Mercy. Paternal grandmother was diagnosed with gastric cancer in October 2010 and returned home after having 3/5 of her stomach surgically removed. She is currently in the hospital once again. Pray for her recovery from pain and suffering through God's healing mercy. Quote (translated): "By myself I do not want to eat, but I'll eat for the Lord; by myself I do not want to live, but I'll live for the Lord." My mother left for Taiwan since Saturday to care for and pray alongside my grandmother. She recently posted a Youtube video petitioning for prayer support and of my grandmother praying and praising God: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7JM_yxBUTQ&feature=channel&list=UL

Thanks,

Johnson Ho



Grandparent's coming-to-faith testimony:
Grandparents had no faith background.
My father (eldest son of four) was born.
Father as baby was sick, to the point of death.
Grandparents sought for sources of recovery.
Physician treatments of no avail.
Buddhist prayers of no avail.
Christian pastor prayed.
Father healed.
Grandparents believed on the Lord Jesus.

I am a People Person.

After my individual counseling session this morning, I realized that no matter how introvert I say I am by nature, I am a people person. Yesterday, I felt so free after work because I'm done with school, I don't have any major obligations and deadlines to meet and I ended at 4PM which was so early! Freedom felt so good and I wanted to take advantage of that by just doing whatever I want to do and just relax. I ended up staying in my cubicle for about four hours, enjoying my time of peace and quiet and spending some me-time. I have no problem being alone in quietness and silence, it's so refreshing. But I noticed that even in my me-time, I'm always in some sort of communication where I'm interacting with people -- I'm really not alone having time to myself even though I feel like I am. If I'm not interacting with someone in person, I'll be responding to emails,  texting, on the phone, or blogging. At the end of the day, I love being around people because people are what make the memories. No one ever talks about a memory when they were by themselves but rather, I make memories when I'm with people. I want to value every moment I have with people because they are the beings God created for us to enjoy life with. I feel like that's the way to make the most out of every opportunity. Anyway, just a thought.

The Cost of Following

Taken from: InterVarsi​ty National Alumni Newsletter - April 2012

"Follow me on Twitter."
"Follow us on Facebook."
"Follow my blog."
"Follow the latest breaking news."

We live in a world today where corporations, celebrities, and sometimes our friends, clamor to increase the number of people who follow, like, or subscribe to them online.

The concept of "following" is not a new one--Jesus even 2,000 thousand years ago said "Follow me," as he called people to him. There is, however, a vast difference between choosing to follow Jesus and following someone on Twitter.

Jesus said, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it." There is a much higher personal and lifelong cost invovled in following Jesus.

What are the costs involved for you today as you follow Jesus?

I'm Thankful for...

Here's an email chain I got from somebody, thought it was cute.

I AM THANKFUL:

• FOR THE WIFE -- WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
• FOR THE HUSBAND -- WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.
• FOR THE TEENAGER -- WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.
• FOR THE TAXES I PAY -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.
• FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY  -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.
• FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.
• FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE
• FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING  -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.
• FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT -- BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
• FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.
• FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.
• FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.
• FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.
• FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.
• FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS -- BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

Psalm 37:3-4

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give." Winston Churchill

Trader

Processing

Since I'm not feeling too well today, I'm taking the time to not go out and just sit and process things and typing things out. I've been learning so many new things and haven't been digesting them and so it feels like a burp that can't come out. This is a good time of rest, solitude, and at the same time I get to finish my homework because journaling is apart of my hw. Love it.

I Stand by the Door

I Stand at the Door

By Sam Shoemaker (from the Oxford Group)

I stand by the door.

I neither go to far in, nor stay to far out.

The door is the most important door in the world -

It is the door through which men walk when they find God.

There is no use my going way inside and staying there,

When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,

Crave to know where the door is.

And all that so many ever find

Is only the wall where the door ought to be.

They creep along the wall like blind men,

With outstretched, groping hands,

Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,

Yet they never find it.

So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world

Is for men to find that door - the door to God.

The most important thing that any man can do

Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands

And put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks

And opens to the man's own touch.

Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die

On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.

Die for want of what is within their grasp.

They live on the other side of it - live because they have not found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,

And open it, and walk in, and find Him.

So I stand by the door.

Go in great saints; go all the way in -

Go way down into the cavernous cellars,

And way up into the spacious attics.

It is a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.

Go into the deepest of hidden casements,

Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.

Some must inhabit those inner rooms

And know the depths and heights of God,

And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.

Sometimes I take a deeper look in.

Sometimes venture in a little farther,
But my place seems closer to the opening.

So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.

Some people get part way in and become afraid

Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them;

For God is so very great and asks all of us.

And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia

And want to get out. 'Let me out!' they cry.

And the people way inside only terrify them more.

Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled.

For the old life, they have seen too much:

One taste of God and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened

Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,

To tell them how much better it is inside.

The people too far in do not see how near these are

To leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all.

Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door

But would like to run away. So for them too,

I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.

But I wish they would not forget how it was

Before they got in. Then they would be able to help

The people who have not yet even found the door.

Or the people who want to run away again from God.

You can go in too deeply and stay in too long

And forget the people outside the door.

As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,

Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,

But not so far from men as not to hear them,

And remember they are there too.

Where? Outside the door -

Thousands of them. Millions of them.

But - more important for me -

One of them, two of them, ten of them.

Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.

So I shall stand by the door and wait

For those who seek it.

'I had rather be a door-keeper

So I stand by the door.



The Bridge

The Bridge  By Edwin Friedman


There was a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. He had experienced
many moods and trials. He had experimented with different ways of living, and he had had his
share of both success and failure. At last, he began to see clearly where he wanted to go.
Diligently, he searched for the right opportunity. Sometimes he came close, only to be pushed
away. Often he applied all his strength and imagination, only to find the path hopelessly blocked.
And then at last it came. But the opportunity would not wait. It would be made available only
for a short time. If it were seen that he was not committed, the opportunity would not come
again.

Eager to arrive, he started on his journey. With each step, he wanted to move faster; with each
thought about his goal, his heart beat quicker; with each vision of what lay ahead, he found
renewed vigor. Strength that had left him since his early youth returned, and desires, all kinds of
desires, reawakened from their long-dormant positions.

Hurrying along, he came upon a bridge that crossed through the middle of a town. It had been
built high above a river in order to protect it from the floods of spring. He started across. Then
he noticed someone coming from the opposite direction. As they moved closer, it seemed as
though the other were coming to greet him. He could see clearly, however, that he did not know
this other, who was dressed similarly except for something tied around his waist.

When they were within hailing distance, he could see that what the other had about his waist
was a rope. It was wrapped around him many times and probably, if extended, would reach a
length of 30 feet.

The other began to uncurl the rope, and, just as they were coming close, the stranger said,
“Pardon me, would you be so kind as to hold the end a moment?” Surprised by this politely
phrased but curious request, he agreed without a thought, reached out, and took it.
“Thank you,” said the other, who then added, “two hands now, and remember, hold tight.”

Whereupon, the other jumped off the bridge.
Quickly, the free-falling body hurtled the distance of the rope’s length, and from the bridge the
man abruptly felt the pull. Instinctively, he held tight and was almost dragged over the side. He
managed to brace himself against the edge, however, and after having caught his breath, looked
down at the other dangling, close to oblivion.

“What are you trying to do?” he yelled.

“Just hold tight,” said the other.

“This is ridiculous,” the man thought and began trying to haul the other in. He could not get the
leverage, however. It was as though the weight of the other person and the length of the rope
had been carefully calculated in advance so that together they created a counterweight just
beyond his strength to bring the other back to safety.

“Why did you do this?” the man called out.

“Remember,” said the other, “if you let go, I will be lost.”

“But I cannot pull you up,” the man cried.

“I am your responsibility,” said the other.

“Well, I did not ask for it,” the man said.

“If you let go, I am lost,” repeated the other.

He began to look around for help. But there was no one. How long would he have to wait? Why
did this happen to befall him now, just as he was on the verge of true success? He examined the
side, searching for a place to tie the rope. Some protrusion, perhaps, or maybe a hole in the
boards. But the railing was unusually uniform in shape; there were no spaces between the
boards. There was no way to get rid of this newfound burden, even temporarily.

“What do you want?” he asked the other hanging below.

“Just your help,” the other answered.

“How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there is no place to tie the rope so that I can go and
find someone to help me help you.”

“I know that. Just hang on; that will be enough. Tie the rope around your waist; it will be easier.”

Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tied the rope around his waist.

“Why did you do this?” he asked again. “Don’t you see what you have done? What possible purpose
could you have had in mind?”

“Just remember,” said the other, “my life is in your hands.”

What should he do? “If I let go, all my life I will know that I let this other die. If I stay, I risk losing
my momentum toward my own long-sought-after salvation. Either way this will haunt me
forever.” With ironic humor he thought to die himself, instantly, to jump off the bridge while still
holding on. “That would teach this fool.” But he wanted to live and to live life fully. “What a
choice I have to make; how shall I ever decide?”

As time went by, still no one came. The critical moment of decision was drawing near. To show
his commitment to his own goals, he would have to continue on his journey now. It was already
almost too late to arrive in time. But what a terrible choice to have to make.

A new thought occurred to him. While he could not pull this other up solely by his own efforts,
if the other would shorten the rope from his end by curling it around his waist again and again,
together they could do it. Actually, the other could do it by himself, so long as he, standing on
the bridge, kept it still and steady.

“Now listen,” he shouted down. “I think I know how to save you.” And he explained his plan.

But the other wasn’t interested.

“You mean you won’t help? But I told you I cannot pull you up myself, and I don’t think I can
hang on much longer either.”

“You must try,” the other shouted back in tears. “If you fail, I die.”

The point of decision arrived. What should he do? “My life or this other’s?” And then a new idea.

A revelation. So new, in fact, it seemed heretical, so alien was it to his traditional way of thinking.

“I want you to listen carefully,” he said, “because I mean what I am about to say. I will not accept
the position of choice for your life, only for my own; the position of choice for your own life I
hereby give back to you.”

“What do you mean?” the other asked, afraid.

“I mean, simply, it’s up to you. You decide which way this ends. I will become the counterweight.

You do the pulling and bring yourself up. I will even tug a little from here.” He began unwinding
the rope from around his waist and braced himself anew against the side.

“You cannot mean what you say,” the other shrieked. “You would not be so selfish. I am your
responsibility. What could be so important that you would let someone die? Do not do this to
me.”

He waited a moment. There was no change in the tension of the rope.

“I accept your choice,” he said, at last, and freed his hands.

The End.


What a story!

Serenity Prayer

Umbrella

For some reason, I can NEVER keep an umbrella, and that's why I NEVER carry umbrella's with me, even if it's raining. So yesterday, it was raining and I decided that I'll just buy one hoping that maybe I'd keep it because I'm buying it for myself and it's more than $1, it was $10. Anyway, I got to school, I brought it to the library, then to the bathroom, and I went downstairs to the Haven and the next thing you know, I don't remember where my umbrella went and I couldn't find it. What a pity. One fun fact about me: I am GREAT at keeping technology safe and sound, but I can NEVER keep an umbrella.

I forgive you.

In Your Enemy's Shoes

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

If we could read
the secret history of our enemies,
we would find in each person's life
sorrow and suffering enough
to disarm all hostility.

I got my phone stolen on Thursday, initially I was a little agitated but after reflecting... to whoever stole my phone: I forgive you.

I've been learning SO MUCH from AGSC in different ways and it's just too much to digest and process over the course of the week. All in all, God is truly good.

Fresh air.

Yesterday I went to Bear Mountain with a couple of buddies just for the fun of it. We got there around six, and by that time it was dark already. Haven't done any physical activities besides walking for a long time, so climbing and walking up that mountain was tiresome but so refreshing. Every so often, we would stop, relax, and chit chat, admiring the view and enjoying nature. It was nice. I hope I could do things like this more often. Away from technology, distractions, and the busyness of NYC life. A couple of good friends and a few hours out of the schedule make a good night.

"The Lunch Date"

Watch it.